Where the wild things are

I once heard that our hearts are wild. And I believe it. Sometimes, mine pounds within my chest, straining against the cage of my ribs. It belongs to no one but the wind, the lone desert plains and starry night skies. It belongs to no one but the hilly mountainous ridges and the dark, wet forests. My heart it wild sometimes.

And during it’s wild beating, it’s calls to the moon and to freedom, I feel an infinite longing to something not found here on earth. It’s this desire to see more than what this planet has to offer and yet to spontaneously absorb every beautiful thing that it can give me. On nights, on days, on evenings where my heart feels wild, I feel free. I feel uncaged. I feel invincible.

But there’s always a cage that my heart returns to. It settles down in it’s bed of dust and stale air and lives out the days of monotony. And I do not know that I am completely sad that this state exists. I do not believe I would be able to handle a perpetually wild heart and I would not know what a wild heart was if it were wild all the time, for then it would be normal. But I do know that at these times, I let my tiredness, my annoyedness, my petulance, consume me in a way that a wild heart would not dream to allow.

This time of sadness, of the cage that my wild heart was locked in, haunts me. It makes up the majority of my memories of last year. It colors my experiences with dim, gray glasses that stopped me from enjoying the rain and the clouds and instead cause me to want to sleep when little drops pelted my window.

But now, I will dance. I will take every opportunity to stir up my wild heart. I believe that sometimes, I denied myself the opportunity to be inspired, amounting it to foolishness, or selfishness. But no more. Every minute of every day there is inspiration about us. And sometimes we are truly unable to see it. Yet other times, we do not allow ourselves to see it. I want to be more wild than caged. More free than bound. And more inspired than apathetic. I want my life to be a life of mystery in everyday things. I want to find wonder in the tasks that I’ve performed a million times. I want to experience things that I’ve done before as if I am doing them for the first time.

There is a part of me that loves organization. And I do not believe that a wild heart is the equivalent of a chaotic heart. Rather, a wild heart is a heart that decides to experience life to the fullest and pursues that decision with each mighty beat. In the times where I am pouring over my planner, color coding assignments and making sure that I have everything on my to-do list done, I will let my heart be wild. I will allow it to be free.

When I was younger I was told that the greatest adventures had dragons, and princesses, and damsels, and saviors. But I don’t think that this is true. From what I have experienced from life so far, I believe that the greatest adventure is to live. The greatest adventure is to not become apathetic. The greatest adventure is to stay true to yourself. The greatest adventure is to make the hard choices that don’t seem to be paying off. The greatest adventure is to find a balance of doing things for the good of yourself and the good of your community. The greatest adventure is living this life, here, now, in this dangerous world with every cell in our body making an effort towards crafting it into what we want it to be.

So what do you see in the lone sunny plains? I know that I myself am done viewing it as an obstacle to be overcome. I know that there is beauty in the warm, scalding rays and the watery mirages on the horizon. And I will let myself be inspired by this beauty, no matter the cost. What do you see in the dark depths of the forest? I know that I myself am done viewing it as the place where wolves lie in wait. I know there are flowers and mice which sing to each other songs beyond my comprehension and yet not beyond my ability to recognize that it’s is beautiful, that it is magic. Life is what we make it. It really is. And I want to make it into a masterpiece where I saw wonder and joy and awe inspiring things around every corner. Sure, from time to time, my heart will rest in it’s cage. It will take a break within the dusty, stale confines of the walls of my chest. But I will leave the key in the door and the door cracked open so that when it sees the aureate light of another mystery it is free to fly to it and discover.

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