So, today I realized something unpleasant and yet pleasant at the same time. It’s not often that this happens.
I realized that it’s been a month since I’ve been out of school and I don’t have a job. It’s seems a small uncomplicated realization but it’s one that is surrounded by the time loss that seems to come upon me during the summer months.
It’s been a month and three days from the day that I checked out of my first year of college, packed up all of my stuff, and drove home. And I don’t have a job. I could have had a job. I need a job. But I don’t have a job. I waited too long to apply to a job that would have been perfect for my summer schedule (with a vacation in the middle of it) and the opening closed. The two jobs I worked for while I was in school were on campus jobs and they were easy to apply to because I had to fill out one application for the both of them instead of the million I seem to be submitting now.
But it’s alright. This is one of those things that in my moments of panic and anxiety, I don’t think about. I forget that it’s okay to make mistakes. I forget that everything always turns out okay. Would I prefer to have a job. Of course! I would love to be saving up for the next school year and be able to go out and buy those amazingly cute rompers that I own none of. But I am not dying. The sun still rises every morning. I still get to go outside and enjoy it. I am still able to enjoy the rain when it does come. And I can still see and hang out with my brother. And my friends.
I made a mistake. Yes. And I am paying for it right now. But life is still good and it still goes on.